Love or Need.. ? !!

People feel lonely,  they need somebody to fill their loneliness. They call it love. They show love because that is the only way to hook the other. The other also calls it love because that is the only way to hook you. But who knows whether there is love or not? Love is just a game. Real love is possible, but that happens only when you don’t need anybody but not when you wanted to fill loneliness!

If you go to a bank and you need money, they will not give you any. If you don’t need money, you have enough. But still they will come to you and they will always be ready to give you because they needed you to be with them for benefits of bank.

When you don’t need a person at all, when you are totally sufficient unto yourself, when you can be alone and tremendously happy, then love is possible. But then too you can be certain about only one thing: whether your love is real. How can you be certain about the other? But then there is no need.

This continuous anxiety — whether the other’s love is real or not — simply shows one thing: that your love is not real. Why be worried about it? When you are in Love with someone, you are giving Love to them but not in a mutual agreement of give and take. It is not even an agreement that you give love provided you get that back. This happens with many so called lovers who are not in Love but say themselves they are in Love. There are no expectations in Love. There are no restrictions in Love. There are no conditions in Love. There are no painful adjustments or regrets. But when can you give this kind of Love? you can only give this when you are content with yourself. But as a human when can a man be content with himself? When he attains wisdom, knowledge and character. Love is not about choosing 10 people and selecting one of them. funnily that would be interviewing and shortlisting for a position called spouse. True love happens but not the immediate moment or every moment you find opposite sex interesting.

Behind declarations of love there is nothing but need to fill loneliness. You want your lover to be with you to fill your emptiness and so too is the case with her. You are both trying to use each other as a means. That’s why lovers, so-called lovers, are always in conflict — because nobody wants to be used, because when you use a person the person becomes a thing, you have reduced him to a commodity. Nobody even want to be in unsecured zone thinking what if other person may find someone else to fill their loneliness, and the former would become alone. This kind of insecurities, Selfishness, loneliness keeps on wrong meaning of love. One day when you are really awake and look around yourself truly you will be able to love — but then you will be certain about your love only. But that’s enough! Love is about loving someone your heart beats for, it’s not about loving only the one who can love you back. Do you love yourself? Are you ready to love someone Unconditionally without any returns? You have not even asked the question.

That’s It..?

Dedicated to all my sweet and lovely friends for the times when I have to sit beside you and wipe those warm tears running down your cheeks but now I am very happy for you all and on request I am putting across all those words we shared at those moments. Love you all. Because I am writing this on a blog, please excuse me as I am unable to share the names and incidents which are very personal of yours. I would just like to express and share few words here, dedicating this to the ones who crossed these situations for better and for the ones who are waiting for better to come.

Don’t worry for what has happened, when a rose can live amongst the thorns and never be injured by them, how about you? You are more wonderful and open to choice than a rose, because you have a choice to get rid of thorns surrounding you. You are more beautiful and more tender than a rose to many of us.

Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength but there are times in life, when it takes much more strength to just let go.  When someone walks out of your life, let them. They are just making room for someone better to walk into your life. Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours, and there will be always something better. You deserve someone who Knows how to makeup things again after making you feel bad not someone who is very good just with the word sorry. Don’t cry for those who don’t deserve you. How many times do we forgive someone just because we don’t want to lose them, even though they don’t deserve our forgiveness? Life is too short to keep on loving someone who doesn’t even have any feelings towards you. Move on and fall for another person who may not double your Love when you share with them but atleast donot minus it! Make cheerful moments there after. That’s it!

Do you have SHORT love stories? if yes, please send to me

Life is fair

Does existence believe in fairness and justice? Is the world running according to a system where there is natural justice? Or is everything here disorganized, random and chaotic? These are questions that often come to our mind, especially when we see injustice around us.

Most of us would say that life is not always fair. We have our own set of complaints against people, events, occurrences and circumstances. But every one of us would like to believe that natural justice does exist.

As and when someone insults us or does harm to another, we want justice. However, we also know that justice is not done every time. If someone has harmed us physically or mentally, we always are looking for that person to suffer in some form or the other. And we ourselves set out to meet justice, or hope for divine intervention against our tormentor.

It is our nature to compare and compete, and feel dejected especially when we see others having more money, huge properties, better relationships or good health. We then try and find some flaw in their lives, look out for something that is not right with them, and would try and see how we are better off than them in some area of life or the other. And consciously or subconsciously, we often wish that something bad happens to them, because it seems unfair that others should be having an apparently better life than us.

However, existence does not work according to our needs, desires, wants, ideas or beliefs. We have to realize that Life is always fair.  Never compare yourself to others, you have no idea of their sufferings.

“It’s a NO”. Only good people suffer. Bad people will be Happy.

“Why do good people suffer or why do bad things happen to good people?” This question seems to be very common these days. It seems as though good people get the brunt of all suffering, while evil-doers enjoy life. But if we observe closely, we see that everyone undergoes suffering in some form. Keeping this in mind, our question becomes meaningless. Just because a person is good does not mean there would be no suffering in his/her life.

All our spiritual or philosophical practices cannot eliminate suffering, but they protect the mind and make suffering acceptable, just as on a rainy day, we cannot stop the rain, but can protect ourselves from getting wet with an umbrella. “A good person never suffers.” The statement mean to say, the good person will never find himself in suffering because of his wisdom in accepting the situation and patience in overcoming the situation. By some logic we feel that suffering and enjoyment is related to past actions. If we observe at the subtle level, we find immediate results of our actions. The moment a good thought enters our mind, we feel elation, and similarly a wicked thought causes agitation. The prayers and other devotional activities are to keep mind in control but not to show off. It is of no use, if you call yourself spiritual without having self control. It doesn’t really matter, if you are a person of self control and self awareness and still not spiritual. The ultimate goal is to have control on one self without causing trouble to others or oneself. This is humanity.

How can we achieve this goodness in our lives? To reach any target, we must first have a goal. Similarly, for achieving goodness, we must have a standard of goodness which is known to us, because only then can we rise up to the required levels. As long as we see differences in the world around us, true goodness will not manifest. This can be achieved only when we become aware of our oneness with others. An example will illustrate this point better. Every organ of my body is part of one whole. If the finger goes into the eye, there is instant forgiveness, because of the complete identification with the finger.

If we work for ourselves and achieve great things, there is nothing laudable about it, but if we help others to achieve their goals, then it is an accomplishment. If someone is good to you and you reciprocate, that is common courtesy. But if someone is harming you, and despite that you continue to wish that person well without expecting anything in return, it is real goodness. A sadhu bathing in the river saw a drowning insect. He saved it from drowning and was stung in return. Again, the insect fell back into the river and the sadhu pulled it out of the water and placed it under a shady tree. On seeing this, a person asked the sadhu, “Why did you do that?” He replied, “The insect did not give up its nature, so why should I?”

Now that we know what is good, let us see what suffering is. Objective suffering befalls all people, good or bad. Situations leading to suffering could have their roots in past actions. Objectively, the existence of pain or any other physical handicap cannot be denied, but the degree of sorrow this leads to is entirely subjective. Riches or positions of power do not guarantee happiness. People become miserable over small matters. If a person claims that he is good and is suffering, while the dishonest person is flourishing, we can be very sure that the person is not good. For a good man, the real suffering is to do something against his convictions. Suppose a pure vegetarian is faced with a situation of remaining hungry or eating beef, the chances are that the former option would be more acceptable.

Real suffering is when we lose our goodness. Compromising with goodness is the greatest suffering. Even though superficially it may appear that evil doers are flourishing, it should not be an excuse to compromise. The problem arises when one does not have an ideal or when one is not able to live up to one’s ideal. But the greatest problem is when one believes that the ideal is not worth living up to and has lost its utility. Remember, a good man will stand by his convictions, because “If you do not stand for something, you will fall for everything.” Be good and accept what ever comes your way.